He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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