We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
