So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
