yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
