We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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