yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
