now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
