someone get that fucking seahorse.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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