I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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