i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
