You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Randomize
