Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
