I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we're making bets on your personal life
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
