Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize