ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
