Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night