We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!