she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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