buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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