fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
