are you so shy because you have an std?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
