if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize