At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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