Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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