Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im holly from the hills drunk
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
