I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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