OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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