my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
