he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
