so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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