North Korea, Best Korea!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
