I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
