last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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