Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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