she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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