I seem to have left my pride at pride
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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