those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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