No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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