you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
