I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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