Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
