You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
