No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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