so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You made out with two different species that night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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