Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm bleeding and have questions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize