Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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