Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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