FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
