why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
