ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
only you would photoshop your dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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