She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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