I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
