Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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