I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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