She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All the doctor said was why
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
