Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
