Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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