how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
