I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
be right there i have to get my cape
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
