i just wanna soil my oats bro
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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