One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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