And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
