we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
