what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"