you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve