I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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