i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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