i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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