Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
handjob tips. give me some.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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