he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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